Anyone who knows me knows that I am a very strong woman. I don't get intimidated easily, I know what I want in life, I work hard and am constantly learning as much as I can on different subjects. All of these things are great! Until you're single and you keep meeting men who are intimidated by strong women.
I truly believe that there is someone for everyone. Not necessarily an individual someone, but more the personality and/or "type" of individual. And sometimes, who you are to the core is not going to mesh with someone else. You can force it, but then you're also going to deal with the conflicts and consequences that follow.
I've noticed a trend lately and I'm loving it! Both women and men are being a bit more selective in who they date. Thankfully technology has helped those of us in the dating world to narrow down the playing field a bit more. Creative online dating features and societal trends (i.e. waiting longer to marry) are a few of the contributors to an increase in selectivity within the dating pool.
Because of this highly selective trend (previously known as being "picky") I've also very quickly learned that first interactions/conversations are way more intense than I remembered. Of course it has been 20 years, but DAMN! We are just getting straight to the point! "What do you not like....what do you like...what are your 5 year goals...and 10 years?" What in the ever living hell happened to faking it for a while???
It's funny, and a little overwhelming, but this new "waste no time" type of dating is refreshing and, well, a time saver!
Here is where the problem occurs. Because you both come on strong and reveal a lot at first, you're right out there in the open from day one. And women with strong personalities and goals shine in this situation. You want to know what we are looking for in a relationship? Honey, by the end of conversation number one you will know. And I'm finding that there are men that can't handle a woman with equivalent wit, sarcasm, intelligence, success, etc.
I'm sorry. Did I wake up in a decade long ago? Or did some men just miss the memo that women of today are stronger, tougher, entrepreneurial minded, and more focused on success than they ever were. This really open type of dating is perfect for us! No more discovering 6 months into your marriage that he actually would rather you put your career dreams on hold while he finishes his path to success and then he will support you in your hobbies...er...I mean dreams. (True story, by the way.) If by the second or third date he hasn't balked at your plans to be both a mother and a badass lady boss, then you snatch that man up quickly!
Ladies, stop wasting your time on men that cannot handle you and are intimidated by your goals and strength. Embrace this new dating style and find your partner in life with less collateral damage from numerous failed relationships. And for goodness sake, if you have to remain single for a while DO IT! Don't settle. Don't just date someone and tolerate the miserable moments just to be in a relationship. Although, I must say, a truly strong female doesn't need a relationship, she wants it.
Be selective. Be open. Be honest. And be yourself. And if he/she can't handle it, then keep looking. Being desired is different than being valued! And a healthy relationship is one where you, first and foremost, value each other beyond measure.